a tale of a hot air ballon stalker
after dating pedro (an eccentric-former-millionaire-hot air balloon enthusiast) in NYC for longer than i should have, though not long at all- due to boredom and mystery, i guess- i decided to end the relationship to pursue another option. i took the high road. i actually called him (as opposed to giving him the FO (fadeout)) when i was safely out of NY and home in Utah for the holidays. i thanked him for a lovely/bizarre experience and told him i was going to be exclusive with my new beaux. pedro was saddened by the news but offered to take us both on a hot air balloon ride…. yes, a hot air balloon ride. apparently he owned SEVERAL hot air balloons (what next? a bag of hair? dungeons and dragons?)
me: “WHAT part of the three of us in a hot air balloon over the timpanogos mountains sounds like a good idea? SOMEBODY’s going over. aaaannnnd….. i’m afraid it’ll be me. no thanks.”
*the next day whilst enjoying maglebey’s fresh french toast syrup HEAVEN*
phone message (i OBVIOUSLY screened his call) from pedro: “hey natalie *ppppsssssshshhhhhhhttttt (thats the sound of a hot air balloon firing)*, i’m right above your house! *pppppppsssssssshhhhhhhttttt* come out!!
um. … creeeeeepy. how does he know where i live?!
*the very NEXT day*
i drove little sister’s green bug (which had been parked outside the family homestead the previous day). as i was emerging from massage heaven @ cousin kevin’s house (seriously, this man is a HEALER–ask me for details) i peer up though my crunched lashes and massage fog to see pedro HOVERING over the car in the aforementioned HOT AIR BALLOON!!!!
pedro: “HEEEEEYYYYY natalie!!!! ppppppssssshhhhhhttttttt “
me: no response. IS THIS A DREAM?!
pedro: “HEEEYYYYY ! do you want me to throw the ladder down? come UP!”
me: some sort of mumbled response like “oooh i’ve gotta get the car back” and a swift reach for the keys!!!!!
*the day after that*
a little creeped out, i head to the hills for a ski day @ Deer Valley…. i kid you not, halfway thru the glorious powder day, someone spots the balloon HOVERING over Deer Valley.
and that’s the week i was stalked by a supremely unbalanced person in a hot air balloon.